Salt Lake City, Utah- Gary Herbert just approved a bill that would prevent Californians from moving to Utah. He blames California for Utah’s public health crisis, AKA “Porn.”
The wall be constructed at Bangerter Highway blocking all Cali Migrants from making it any further into the valley. There will be check points and anyone from California will have to provide a guest Visa or passport. They will also be asked if they have any porn to declare at the checkpoint.
“There is one designated zone Californians are welcome to live. Daybreak, we can pack em’ in tight there. We’ll stack em’ so high, they’ll be able to see their home state from their balcony.” Said, Herbert.
Herbert, added. “We will not tolerate these folks bringing any kind of porn into our great state either.”
Gary Herbert plans on making California pay for the wall. Governor Jerry Brown says “We’re not going paying for it!”
Anthony Kiedis of The Red Hot Chili Peppers is already writing a crappy 22 song album about the ordeal Entitled: “Leaving California.”
“The entire band is excited to have some new material for songs about California.” Said, Flea- Kiedis’s bassplayer, long time band mate and friend.
Thomas S. Monson of The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, Said. The Church has reached out to Governor Herbert and he has agreed to take in California refugees that are members of the LDS faith.
Protesters have already begun to go out and show their opposition to Gary’s wall. The largest one lead by Madonna. Every time she’s not feeling relevant, she crawls outta the woodwork for some publicity.
“Utah keeps on pushing my love over the borderline.” Says Madonna.
Rockstar Bono showed up drunk at the Utah homeless shelter, not even sure what the hell he was protesting. He did a free concert for Utah’s homeless and most of them left.
Rodney Dechamp said “Man, we’re homeless. Being out on the street is bad enough without Bono f**king up our day with his horrible music. He’s just adding insult to injury. He’s an obnoxious drunk, and a pretentious a**hole. He needs to take his punk a** back to where the leprechauns roam. He’s really pissing in me lucky charms.”
The U2 frontman just probably just needed a tax write off so he did a so called “free” concert. Oh, wait! Bono doesn’t pay taxes.
We will keep you posted on this story as it develops. Check back for updates.