Utah issues first baby DUI
Salt Lake City, Utah- A crazed baby on fermented breast milk, led Utah Highway Patrol, Bountiful, West Bountiful, Woods Cross, North Salt Lake and Salt Lake Police Departments on a slow speed chase today. West Bountiful Police got a report of a billegerent baby urinating in the sand box at a West Bountiful Park. When […]
Valentine’s Day: Special Report
(February 2017 — Salt Lake City, UT) If you’re looking for the sweetest spot to be on this day for lovers, you couldn’t find a better place than Mormon country. A University of Kansas study, released last week, rated Mormon men as the most potent in the country. As part of a survey of several […]
Utah Town Burns Copies Of Footloose And Bans Dancing
Lehi, Utah- Local church officials and city goverment met at the local library and began burning vinyl records, picture disc, beta max, 8-Tracks and VHS copies of Footloose. Shaw Moore claims “The music in this movie is just too dark rebellious. I, mean… Almost Paradise could summon demons from the darkest depths of hell.” The […]
Tupac live at The Salt Lake Tabernacle
That’s right, Tupac Shakur is back, and he’s ready to throw down in Utah’s most notorious venues, with the worlds most holy of choirs. Tickets are just $25 Kids seats are still only 5 buuuuuuuuucks!!!! The 128th ward relief society will be providing spaghetti and lemonade for the first 25 people! Blessings will be offered […]
Video: Mormon Missionaries Sing Adele’s “Hello” in this Funny Parody
Mormon missionaries sing about their troubles knocking doors.
Godzilla Attacks Mormon Temple In Japan & Has An Epic Battle With Angel Moroni!
Fukuoka, Japan – Godzilla just attacked the Japanese Mormon temple. Japan warned the Mormons that Godzilla was territorial of that area. Top church officials are now rethinking the whole dinosaur thing. “Maybe, we were wrong about the dinosaurs.” Said, Zachariah Hyrum Smith. Smith is a spokesman at the church and was also a science major […]
Breaking News: Stolen Angel Moroni Statue Recovered
Magna, Utah – The Angel Moroni statue stolen from the Salt Lake City LDS temple has been recovered. The statue was removed from the Utah temple just before dusk last night. A heavily modified drone with laser cutting abilities was used to remove Moroni from the top of the building. The golden angel was found […]
Breaking News!: Angel Moroni Stolen From The Salt Lake City, Utah Mormon Temple
Salt Lake City, Utah – Around sunset last night a large drone removed the golden Angel Moroni from the top of the Salt Lake City Mormon Temple. Witnesses claim that the drone used a green laser to cut and remove the statue from the top of the building. Some sort of suction cup was deployed […]
Snoop Dogg Joins The Mormon Church
DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) — In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist “Snoop Dogg” has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith. {PHOTO CAPTION: Snoop Dogg says he “can’t get enough of the Book of Mormon.”} In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg […]