Tupac live at The Salt Lake Tabernacle

That’s right, Tupac Shakur is back, and he’s ready to throw down in Utah’s most notorious venues, with the worlds most holy of choirs.

Tickets are just $25

Kids seats are still only 5 buuuuuuuuucks!!!!

The 128th ward relief society will be providing spaghetti and lemonade for the first 25 people!

Blessings will be offered by the local missionaries!

You won’t want to miss this one! We are about to resurrect some sick beats.

Check Out The Event Page!!! —-> Click Here

Mormon Church Urges Utah Gov. Limit Sales of Vaseline, Kleenex To Stop Masturbation

 

By Harry Peter Johnson

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has declared war against masturbation, which they conclude is seriously harming the lives of young people. And they have decided to go after supplies that potential masturbators might need.

Bob Whitbread, LDS spokesperson, said the church is going to urge Utah Gov. Gary Herbert to impose limits on the sale of Vaseline and Kleenex.

“If a young man is buying large supplies of these items, it’s evident he has fallen prey to masturbation,” Whitbread said.

“The sin of masturbation occurs when a person stimulates his or her own sex organs for the purpose of sexual arousal. It is a perversion of the body’s passions. When we pervert these passions and intentionally use them for selfish, immoral purposes, we become carnal,” according to the church’s website.

Mormon-dominated Utah is known as one of the most conservative states in the union. Herbert recently signed a resolution labelling pornography a “public health crisis.” However, Utah is known to have the highest consumption of pornography in the country, according to a study by Harvard professor Benjamin Edelman.

Breaking News: Stolen Angel Moroni Statue Recovered

Magna, Utah – The Angel Moroni statue stolen from the Salt Lake City LDS temple has been recovered.

The statue was removed from the Utah temple just before dusk last night. A heavily modified drone with laser cutting abilities was used to remove Moroni from the top of the building.

The golden angel was found in the garage of Magna resident Russell Jackson.

Jackson, 45, a local meth addict, has an extensive criminal record. Jackson’s criminal history includes “Theft, public lewdness, domestic violence and assault.” He also has a history of fighting with police officers.

He was arrested today at his Magna home. Jackson has been charged with grand theft, destruction of private property and criminal mischief. He also admitted to stealing items from a local Walmart located in West Valley City, Utah to commit the crime. Items included a drone, a plunger, wire, a laser pointer and miscellaneous tools. He now faces additional charges for shoplifting, modifying a cat toy laser pointing device and using a drone that has not been registered with the FAA.

The Brine Shrimp had a chance to do a brief interview with Jackson.

When we asked “What motivated you to take the statue?”Jackson replied “I needed money for meth, PBR, a mullet haircut and a good ol’ fashion Magna swing party!”

“The statue has some extensive damage but can be repaired.” Said, LDS Church Spokesman – Nephi Hyrum Smith

Jackson removed a good size chunk of the statue and whittled himself some golden teeth. Jackson planned on melting the statue down and making bikes for his small home-based business. Jackson’s business “Tricked Out Tweak Bikes'” Is quite popular with the local Magna meth community.

“I hope the Mormons will forgive me. Us, Tweakers are a lot like Mormons. We both like to ride bikes and go on missions.” Said, Jackson

He was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail and bail was set at 100,000,000 dollars.

Magna Juggalos have setup a go fund me page and plans on having a fundraiser with an ICP cover band to raise the bail money.

You can read the original story here

Breaking News!: Angel Moroni Stolen From The Salt Lake City, Utah Mormon Temple

Salt Lake City, Utah – Around sunset last night a large drone removed the golden Angel Moroni from the top of the Salt Lake City Mormon Temple. Witnesses claim that the drone used a green laser to cut and remove the statue from the top of the building. Some sort of suction cup was deployed and used to carry the heavy gold plated Moroni off into the sunset. Apparently after the heist, the drone made a rapid descent and touched down in Magna, Utah.

The LDS Church commented “We have dealt with this sort of thing in the past. Many people have tried to steal the angel. But have never been successful. We will find these evildoers and bring them to justice.”

We will bring you more as the story develops.

Snoop Dogg Joins The Mormon Church

DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) — In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist “Snoop Dogg” has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith.

Snoop_Mormon1

{PHOTO CAPTION: Snoop Dogg says he “can’t get enough of the Book of Mormon.”}

In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg — whose real name is Calvin Broadus — said he considers himself extremely fortunate to have discovered such a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment at this stage in his life.

“Mr. Broadus is also very pleased to find that his family is as enthusiastic about attending church services as he is,” the spokeswoman said.

However, Snoop Dogg has not been enthusiastic about publicly sharing his experience and declined to be interviewed by CNN for this article.

In fact, he reportedly informed producers of his E! reality show “Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood” that this particular aspect of his family’s life was off-limits to the cameras. Still, he left open the possibility of addressing the subject in future episodes.

According to the Associated Press, Snoop Dogg was first introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the Mormon Church is officially known, after attending a Gladys Knight concert in an LDS meeting house in Los Angeles.

Knight, who very publicly discusses her conversion to Mormonism several years ago, invited Snoop Dogg to what is known to the Mormon faithful as “Family Home Evening,” a church program that encourages families to set aside Monday evenings for gospel-centered lessons and family togetherness.

Though Snoop Dogg has been hesitant to publicly discuss his recent spiritual journey, he commented on the experience of attending his first “Family Home Evening” in a recent interview with People Magazine.

“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”

In what Snoop Dogg now thinks was anything but a coincidence, Mormon missionaries had knocked on his door just one week before the Knight concert. He said he had initially turned them away because of what he knew about the strict Mormon health code, which prohibits members from smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.

“Y’all know me,” he said grinning broadly. “There were just certain things the old me — the “natural man” — needed to do. And these young guys are telling me that God’s not down with disrespecting ourselves. But it’s cool now.”

Snoop Dogg said his conversion marks the end of his old life, one that included frequent run-ins with the law. Snoop Dogg was convicted in 1990 of cocaine possession and charged with gun possession after a 1993 traffic stop. In 1997, he pleaded guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence.

In 1996, Snoop Dogg was acquitted of murder after a purported gangbanger was killed by gunfire from the vehicle in which Snoop Dogg was traveling.

Snoop Dogg dismisses critics who claim his conversion is intended to placate a Salt Lake County judge, before whom he is appealing an alleged probation violation.

“Listen, the haters will say what they will,” Snoop Dogg said. “I can only do what I feel is right.”
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