Utah State Legislature Bans Dune Popcorn Bucket, Because “It Gives Young Men Impure Thoughts.”
Utah State Legislature Bans Dune Popcorn Bucket, Because “It Gives Young Men Impure Thoughts.”
Utah State Legislature Raises Food Service Worker Wages After Christmas Card Mishap
First Raise Since 1991 In a stunning turn of events at the Utah State Legislature session, the wages for food server workers have been catapulted from $2.13 per hour to $7.25 per hour. The reason? A rather curious mishap involving the forgetfulness of an intern from the Utah Restaurant Association led to the Utah State […]
Hill Airforce Base Airman Lands F-35 in Grocery Store Parking Lot for Late-Night Pocky Fix
Roy, Utah- A senior airman stationed at Hill Air Force Base made headlines after allegedly commandeering an F-35 fighter jet to satisfy a late-night craving for Strawberry Pocky sticks, the Base store apparently only had Chocolate. Everyone in Utah knows what store is the Pocky Paradise. Witnesses reported seeing the aircraft touch down in the […]
Utah’s Bear Lake Monster: From Myth to Lunchroom Delicacy
In a shocking turn of events, Utah’s infamous Bear Lake Monster has transitioned from folklore to lunchroom fare faster than you can say “seafood surprise.” Long considered a tall tale spun around campfires, recent events have turned the tables on skeptics and left residents reeling in disbelief. The saga began with an old vintage photograph […]
Megalodon Madness: Giant Shark Found in High School Parking Lot, Headed for Luxury Aquarium
In a jaw-dropping turn of events that has left residents of Salt Lake City, Utah, questioning their own sanity, the parking lot of West High School has become the unexpected temporary home of a living fossil: a megalodon. Standing taller than a double-decker bus and longer than your average basketball court, the prehistoric predator was […]
9th & 9th Whale to be replaced with a bronze statue of Salt Lake Mayor biking to work
Salt Lake City, Utah – After numerous complaints about the 9th & 9th Whale art installation in the roundabout located at 9th South and 9th East, Mayor Mendenhall held a press conference. “Why not put a statue there that’s better, something way better…. And I thought, why not me!?” Said Mayor Mendenhall. The new art […]
Kanye West Joins The Mormon Church
Salt Lake City, Utah- Rapper Kanye West has been hasn’t quite painted a clear picture to eactly what he believes. His early hip hop song ‘Jesus Walks’ had people wondering if he was a Christian Rapper. West has done his share of secular tunes since then. Kanye has an LDS neighbor that has been trying […]
Hurricane Moroni is moving across The Great Salt Lake
Breaking News: A major storm system is brewing over The Great Salt Lake. Hurricane Moroni is a category 7 hurricane and it has been anticipated to wipe Magna, West Valley and Ogden, Utah off of the map. We will keep you post as this story develops.
Giant Tiger Muskie Eats Man At Pineview Reservoir
Huntsville, Utah- An unidentified man was attacked and swallowed whole by a giant Tiger Muskie. Witnesses claim that the man was on a shiny paddle board that may have acted like a lure. “The fish just came up out of the water and hit it like a giant fishing lure.” Said, Brexit Tolman, a town […]
Breaking News: Utah Bans Fireworks Statewide Due To Fire Danger
Salt Lake City, Utah- The State of Utah has decided to ban fireworks this year due to extreme fire danger. Several fires have been started acrossed the state. Governor Gary Herbert has pulled the plug on this year’s fireworks celebrations. All private displays are illegal and people will be cited or arrested. There will be […]