Utah plans to grow cannabis at the new State Prison

Salt Lake City, Utah- Daw Inc. in partnership with Scrodium Biosciences wants a state run monopoly on CBD and all things cannabis. Now we know why they were so aggressively wanting to move the prison. They need room for more greenhouses. This is nothing more than the State of Utah having it’s cake and eating it too. The war on drugs has put many people behind bars. It’s a big racket and highly profitable to incarcerate people. Utah does not want to lose it’s cash cow but still has ambitions of getting into the cannabis game.

This plan will not be without it’s difficulties.

“The main problem we will be facing is keistering. Only people with less than 6 months to live should be able to try cannabis. I decide who gets to use cannabis. We have blocked 98% of Utah Patients from accessing it. Prisoners aren’t going to use my cannabis, not on my watch!” Said, (Rep) Brad Daw of Orem.

Keistering is the practice of smuggling contraband in an inmate’s anus . This is a huge problem for Daw Inc. because they will be losing huge profits and prisoners will have access to Medical Grade Industrial Hemp. Daw Inc. did figure out a solution though. “Operation Brown Glove” led by UHP (Rep) Lee Perry, will be an aggressive anti-keistering campaign that must be done to every single inmate that is working on the grow operation.

“There’s no other way to do this. We just need to suck it up and do it. Utah has worked very hard to put this framework in place. I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. I’ll just rub a little vapor rub on my moustache and dig right it.” said, Perry.

Sheriff Terry Thompson felt a bit different about this.
“Cannabis causes erectile dysfunction, it’s the new salt Peter. Giving prisoners access to a bit of cannabis might stop a couple of problems from arising at the prison.” said, Thompson.

We reached out to Senator Evan Vickers, A Utah Pharmacist. He was unavailable to discuss how dangerous medical industrial hemp and how many you would have to inject to overdose. Vickers was the Senate floor sponsor for most of Daw’s bills. He kind of stepped out of the limelight after a call girl tried to trap him in a “HoneyPot.”