Category: Uncategorized

Breaking News: Scientists bring back the UtahRaptor

Vernal, Utah- A group of Utah scientists have successfully cracked the genome of the UtahRaptor. The UtahRaptor was originally discovered in a quicksand death trap in...

Valentine’s Day: Special Report

(February 2017 — Salt Lake City, UT) If you’re looking for the sweetest spot to be on this day for lovers, you couldn’t find a better place than Mormon...

Utah Neighborhood Fireworks Show Breaks A World Record!

Breaking News: Utah breaks a world record for largest fireworks celebration ever! The New Years Eve event could be felt in 5 states and shifted the earths axis off by 1...

Lizard Person Doug Wright Hates Fake News

Salt Lake City, Utah- Today on the Doug Wright Show. Doug discussed the topic of “Fake News.” Being a lizard person from the planet Kolob. Doug knows that...

Police Calm Millennial Protesters By Handing Out Participation Trophies — The Brine Shrimp

U.S.—As anti-Trump rallies nationwide turned hostile overnight with widespread reports of violence, looting, vandalism, and death threats against the president-elect...

Utah Town Burns Copies Of Footloose And Bans Dancing

Lehi, Utah- Local church officials and city goverment met at the local library and began burning vinyl records, picture disc, beta max, 8-Tracks and VHS copies of...

Homeless Couple Found Living In Walmart Attic

Magna, Utah – Homeless Couple Found Living In Walmart Attic With Hot Plate, Meth Lab, And 42″ LED TV… “I don’t mean to laugh, but these people really...

Horseback riders bust NASA filming Mars Rover footage in Moab, Utah

Moab, Utah- A group of horseback riders caught a film crew filming Mars Rover footage in the redrock area of the Utah desert. This area is covered in red sandstone and...

Tupac live at The Salt Lake Tabernacle

That’s right, Tupac Shakur is back, and he’s ready to throw down in Utah’s most notorious venues, with the worlds most holy of choirs. Tickets are just...

Mormon Church Urges Utah Gov. Limit Sales of Vaseline, Kleenex To Stop Masturbation

  By Harry Peter Johnson The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has declared war against masturbation, which they conclude is seriously harming the lives...

Facebook

Twitter