Valentine’s Day: Special Report
(February 2017 — Salt Lake City, UT) If you’re looking for the sweetest spot to be on this day for lovers, you couldn’t find a better place than Mormon country. A University of Kansas study, released last week, rated Mormon men as the most potent in the country. As part of a survey of several […]
Utah Neighborhood Fireworks Show Breaks A World Record!
Breaking News: Utah breaks a world record for largest fireworks celebration ever! The New Years Eve event could be felt in 5 states and shifted the earths axis off by 1 degree and moved the California coastline 3 feet. This celebration put all Japanese, Chinese and Dubai records to shame. Local Police are still looking […]
Lizard Person Doug Wright Hates Fake News
Salt Lake City, Utah- Today on the Doug Wright Show. Doug discussed the topic of “Fake News.” Being a lizard person from the planet Kolob. Doug knows that reformed Egyptian code and secret knowledge can be deciphered from fake news sites, tabloids and satire pages. Using an old alchemist method, an urim and thummim can […]
Utah Town Burns Copies Of Footloose And Bans Dancing
Lehi, Utah- Local church officials and city goverment met at the local library and began burning vinyl records, picture disc, beta max, 8-Tracks and VHS copies of Footloose. Shaw Moore claims “The music in this movie is just too dark rebellious. I, mean… Almost Paradise could summon demons from the darkest depths of hell.” The […]
Homeless Couple Found Living In Walmart Attic
Magna, Utah – Homeless Couple Found Living In Walmart Attic With Hot Plate, Meth Lab, And 42″ LED TV… “I don’t mean to laugh, but these people really got one over on Walmart,” said Lieut. Marshall Weiss. “In the attic, we recovered 2 pounds of meth they had somehow produced on a hot plate. They […]
Horseback riders bust NASA filming Mars Rover footage in Moab, Utah
Moab, Utah- A group of horseback riders caught a film crew filming Mars Rover footage in the redrock area of the Utah desert. This area is covered in red sandstone and is the perfect place to fake such an event. People recently became skeptical of the NASA missions, after a large rodent was spotted on […]
Tupac live at The Salt Lake Tabernacle
That’s right, Tupac Shakur is back, and he’s ready to throw down in Utah’s most notorious venues, with the worlds most holy of choirs. Tickets are just $25 Kids seats are still only 5 buuuuuuuuucks!!!! The 128th ward relief society will be providing spaghetti and lemonade for the first 25 people! Blessings will be offered […]
Video: Mormon Missionaries Sing Adele’s “Hello” in this Funny Parody
Mormon missionaries sing about their troubles knocking doors.
Godzilla Attacks Mormon Temple In Japan & Has An Epic Battle With Angel Moroni!
Fukuoka, Japan – Godzilla just attacked the Japanese Mormon temple. Japan warned the Mormons that Godzilla was territorial of that area. Top church officials are now rethinking the whole dinosaur thing. “Maybe, we were wrong about the dinosaurs.” Said, Zachariah Hyrum Smith. Smith is a spokesman at the church and was also a science major […]
Breaking News: Stolen Angel Moroni Statue Recovered
Magna, Utah – The Angel Moroni statue stolen from the Salt Lake City LDS temple has been recovered. The statue was removed from the Utah temple just before dusk last night. A heavily modified drone with laser cutting abilities was used to remove Moroni from the top of the building. The golden angel was found […]